 My next goal... ta ta ta tan... stop yelling at home.
Will it be possible?? Not sure but it is definitely worth trying! I got some tips to prepare for this new phase, keep reading. But first About Yelling: Yelling does get kids' attention but it's problematic because it contributes to a disfunctional pattern of communication. Research has shown that yelling may have harmful effects on children comparable to physical punishment, such as hitting. Children whose parents are verbally aggressive also exhibit lower self-esteem, higher aggressiveness, and increased rates of depression. So before leaving for the weekend let's leave aside our efforts to develop our own self confidence and shift our focus to building self esteem in our kids with this necessary change. And now for the tips:
2. Realize they may not be ignoring me on purpose. Sometimes when kids are engaged in an activity they do not register other aspects of their surroundings. So it is not on purpose! 3. Tell them why I’m asking. This should help kids see my reasoning and shows them I’m not being arbitrary. (I’ll try to quit this slogan: “Because I said so”) 4. Give them fair warning of consequences. That is critical because if children know in advance what the consequences will be for breaking a rule or ignoring a request, then they are making a choice about their behavior: whether they are going to follow the rule, or break the rule and bear the consequences. There are no surprises. This last step, if necessary, is essential, since it will show your kids that you mean what you say. CONSISTENCY IS KEY. >>> Thank you for the great tips, Psychology Today! I’m actually feeling motivated instead of frustrated! <<<
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 Peaceful Comfort I spent the last 3 weeks away from the office! Difficult to get the same kind of rest I use to have before we had kids... so holidays does not equal rest (like 9 years ago) but time to change the mindset, the scenery, enjoy family and friends, get 'some' sleep, visit great places, enjoy meals... It also gives me more time (a lot more time) to look at my children, see how much they have grown, see what they enjoy doing... that only seems romantic when I'm not busy trying to educate them... that has looked easier than what I'm finding it now... Not easy but with some funny episodes! Our youngest daughter always wants to hear the same song over and over again in the car... It's a song by Maria Gadu called Shimbalaie. I thought I would share the lyrics with you because they take me back to the good summer days in Sintra and Tavira and I'm betting they can also take you to your favorite holiday places! I have highlighted my preferred part! Enjoy! Peaceful comfort Shimbalaie, when i see the sun kissing the sea Shimbalaie, every time that he goes to sleep Nature, goddess of living Pure beauty of birth A flower shining in the light Fisherman between the sea and the hook Free thoughts like the sky Imagine a paper boat Going away to never return Going like Iemanja Shimbalaie, when i see the sun kissing the sea Shimbalaie, every time that he goes to sleep How long will it be to learn That a flower has life at birth That a flower shining in the light Fishing between the sea and the hook Shimbalaie, when i see the sun kissing the sea Shimbalaie, every time that he goes to sleep Being a captain of this world Able to roll without borders Live a year in seconds Appreciate dreams as more than silliness Become enchanted with books That speak about vanity When a lie may it be needed Being able to tell the truth |
ABOUT MEMy name is T. S. Coelho and I live in Lisbon, Portugal, with my husband and three kids. I work in the asset management industry, managing an equities fund. Archives
January 2021
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