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• TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF •

BUILD SELF-RESPECT

Have a great time!

Be sweet on the inside

never let go

I need to try this!

14/9/2018

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My next goal... ta ta ta tan... stop yelling at home.
Will it be possible?? Not sure but it is definitely worth trying!


I got some tips to prepare for this new phase, keep reading.

But first
About Yelling: Yelling does get kids' attention but it's problematic because it contributes to a disfunctional pattern of communication.  Research has shown that yelling may have harmful effects on children comparable to physical punishment, such as hitting.  Children whose parents are verbally aggressive also exhibit lower self-esteem, higher aggressiveness, and increased rates of depression.

So before leaving for the weekend let's leave aside our efforts to develop our own self confidence and shift our focus to building self esteem in our kids with this necessary change.

And now for the tips:
  1. Make sure the kids can hear me [Note to self: Shouting across the house does not count]
So for young kids, kneeling down in front of them should work and making eye contact while making the request (a friendly touch on the arm, or some other positive physical connection can also be helpful). For older kids, eye contact and an acknowledgement that they heard you should be enough.

2. Realize they may not be ignoring me on purpose. Sometimes when kids are engaged in an activity they do not register other aspects of their surroundings. So it is not on purpose! 
​ 
3. Tell them why I’m asking. This should help kids see my reasoning and shows them I’m not being arbitrary.  (I’ll try to quit this slogan: “Because I said so”)   

4. Give them fair warning of consequences. That is critical because if children know in advance what the consequences will be for breaking a rule or ignoring a request, then they are making a choice about their behavior:  whether they are going to follow the rule, or break the rule and bear the consequences. There are no surprises. This last step, if necessary, is essential, since it will show your kids that you mean what you say. CONSISTENCY IS KEY. 

>>> Thank you for the great tips, Psychology Today! I’m actually feeling motivated instead of frustrated! <<<



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    ABOUT ME

    My name is T. S. Coelho and I live in Lisbon, Portugal, with my husband and three kids. I work in the asset management industry, managing an equities fund.

    I decided to start this project in 2014 after realizing that my ‘grey finance world’ needed the color of writing after hours.

    The decision on the subject to write about was easy to figure out: I combined the need to figure out how to feel healthy even when I sit for about 50 hours every week to my life dream of social justice – well, in this case it’s more about justice in the office – if talented, hardworking, shy people hide behind their desks, others will take advantage and fill in superior positions with higher rewards, higher recognition and more important than that greater personal fulfillment.
    ​
    What I try to do here is to provide the means for extremely valuable people to find the confidence they need to succeed and to live a happier life. Enjoy!


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